Selflessness

It means to be more concerned with the needs of others than oneself. Simply put, unselfish.

I am the oldest daughter of Carolyn Benn Grady (April 21, 1949 - July 5, 1991). It’s been 32 years and I still miss my mom. In honor of our “mother daughter” relationship, this recent “mother daughter” moment is my personal example of selflessness.

“Mom, I can’t leave her.” The daughter burst into tears. Her puffy eyes, runny nose and shortness of breath were clear signs she had been crying for a while. The mother looked at her child, took a deep breath, and encouraged her to slow down and breathe. She immediately recognized her daughter was experiencing separation anxiety. The daughter was scheduled to fly out a few days later, to support and celebrate her mom’s special day. Struggling to convince herself that she’d be fine, she quickly discovered she wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready to leave her dog behind.

Her mom said, “You didn’t realize, over these past few years, your dog has become an emotional support animal for you. She’s been there for you through my divorce from your dad, COVID, unemployment, workplace bullying, Celiac, nursing school, and so forth. You’re right, you can’t leave her. If something happened to her in the care of someone else, while you’re out of town, you wouldn’t know how to forgive yourself; nor would I know how to help and comfort you through that. Just the thought of not being there when she needed you the most is daunting. It’s most mother’s worse nightmare. Stay home and take care of your dog. I would much rather see your smiling face over the phone, than have you here trying to avoid or manage your anxiety. Mental health is real and very important. Next year, we’ll plan a trip for both of you to come for a visit”. The daughter finally calmed down and thanked her mom for being so understanding. The mom smiled and said, “Someone once told me, being a wife and a mom is the most selfless job a woman will ever have.”

(Special thank you to Mrs. M. Dolores Richardson for that advice…also 32 years ago).

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